


Insecurity

by acciomalfoy



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Basically I force all of my emotions and problems onto Draco I'm so sorry, Bit of anxiety thrown in as well, Low Self Esteem, M/M, Strong implications of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2015-10-10
Packaged: 2018-04-25 18:51:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4972345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acciomalfoy/pseuds/acciomalfoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the war, and even before, Draco feels like he is nothing more than the worst thing anyone ever saw.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Insecurity

Sometimes, Draco shut himself in his bedroom, breathing heavily with his fingers in his hair as he paced the room. He sobbed, hysterical in his panic, thinking of all the things he had done and all the consequences, and fuck, what had his parents got him into? Could he even wholly believe that it was all them? Maybe Draco really was evil and scum - and maybe not just maybe.

Sometimes, Draco looked in the mirror and all he saw was his mother, standing behind him as a child and telling him handsomeness ran in the family. Was it really so handsome to have skin so pale, nearly translucent? To have high cheekbones, that made his face look only more sharper? To have hair the colour of purity, but eyes the colour of ambiguosity? Surely, it couldn’t be, and Draco had to swallow a lump back in his throat.

Sometimes, Draco was with Pansy, and it was all he could do to compose himself as man after man introduced themselves to Pansy, and as she rolled her eyes and turned them down with a giggle, Draco noticed not a single one of them laid his eyes on him. It only made him feel worse, that he would want such a disgusting, unattainable thing. It made his stomach unsettle, and his jaw clench.

Sometimes, Draco scratched his wrist whenever Harry looked at him, because for some reason those green eyes were so intense and he felt so bare and exposed and vulnerable and so  _unworthy_ and he _couldn’t breathe and he wanted the mark to fucking GET OFF he didn’t want to be like that anymore didn’t want Harry to think no he needed him he wanted craved lusted desired needed_ -

Sometimes, Harry saw Draco break, wrapped up in his insecurities and past. He walked on, ignoring the pain in his chest.

One time, Harry saw Draco fall to the ground, and he knew it was too late before he had even taken a breath. He watched as the blood trickled from Draco’s stomach, and realised insecurity happened even to the very epitome of supremacy and purity.


End file.
